Sunday, February 18, 2007
Strange Occurances
So I was trying to figure out what to write about this week and the subject just up and fell into my lap. Anyone that has ever ventured out to a bar has had a least one strange occurrence at some time or another. So I was out with some friends to a dive bar back from where we hail, Milwaukee's fabulous Southside. Right. So there we were in the bar, having a good time when out of the blue, two dudes start fighting. One gigantic beast of a man wailed one another. The loser was tossed after the fight and the winner (who from what I guessed from other "regulars" at the bar was named "Hurricane Mike"). So if that wasn't weird enough, the guy starts talking to me about the fight and apparently he decided to fight the other guy because that guy had a girlfriend and Hurricane didn't. I was perplexed to say the least. Trying to decide what to say without losing my teeth to this goon, I told him I admired what he was doing and bought him a shot. What else could I do in that situation? Right. So next thing I know Hurricane is wailing on another guy who walked in with a girl. Then another and another and another. For some reason Hurricane knows the owner or something so he gets to do this without any repercussion's. For a second, I thought this weird situation was my first acid trip from when I was 17 coming back to haunt me, but no this was real. Ye Gods! It was the craziest thing I ever saw. Talking to some patrons at the bar who knew Hurricane, said he does this all the time. So I ask you this: What is the weirdest, or craziest experience in a bar or party?
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Well I've never had an experience like THAT before... but there was this one time my pals and I were seeing a band at Linnemans. During the show we were all dancing - naturally - and we kept seeing this dude who looked like he was sleepwalking. His eyes were closed, his drink hovering around 45 degrees and his free hand fluttering around as though he were swimming in a tar pit. I thought nothing of it and we had a good laugh at his dancing skills. After the show, however, we found the same guy in the next room leaning at 45 degrees (his drink was level at this point) with his pants around his ankles. I think it took him a moment to realize this because he suddenly tried to run for the door...probably in embarassment but who knows why? Anyway, he must have forgotten about the pants around his ankles because his first leap landed him flat on his face! Well, of all the places to make a fool of yourself, 2AM in a bar is probably one of the safer ones right?
Well I would have to agree with pseudo on this one.. I have never had an experience like that.. It reminds me of the south park episode where the kids are watching the Russell Crowe show "fighting around the world". The premise of the show was he would just go around to different countries and pick fights with people that would recognize him. The theme song goes "making movies, making songs, and fighting around the world".
Any who I personally have never been in a bar fight, however I have seen my fair share of them. The funny thing about drunken fights is for as many punches thrown you would think one would land. Where are the road house style fights? Or the terminator 2 style fights, is it too much to ask for a window to be broken because some hoss defenestrated someone on to a cop car hood? Maybe I live a little too much in the movies.
I'd have to say my weirdest bar experience happened to involve myself. So here goes...for all of you who DON'T know, now you will:
I'm a BIG fan of Jazz in the Park...and a BIG fan of Buckhead $2 martinis on Thursdays. Well one Thursday this summer I thought it would be a good idea to drink 1.5 bottles of wine at Jazz in the Park before I go to Buckhead. I had 2 martinis when I arrived at Buckhead (this is when they were still obnoxiously strong for your $2)...and yes, you guessed it, Michelle was drunk. There was a cover band playing there named Acoustica, and I thought it would be a GENIUS idea to hop up on stage, alone, and start hardcore grinding on the lead singer...who is quite large, red haired, bearded, and quite eccentric...everything I wouldn't like normally. Well next thing I know, he goes "hey look, you're on TV." Well apparently the BIG SCREEN TVs in Buckhead are NOT just for TV...it's also a big camera...and I was on the big screen for everyone in the bar to see. Since then, I am Acoustica's biggest fan and I see them every time they come to Buckhead...I was also on Buckhead's top 8 on Myspace for about 4 months...and many workers know me as "that girl from Myspace". Haha...it's no fight...but, beat that.
I've had the interesting experiences with fights in a bar and such, but I'd have say my weirdest experience happened at a party. Friends of mine who have admitted to having a drinking problem upon recalling these memories, used to party hard and long. One night at a party, my friend Billy was for some reason in the attic or third floor during a house party. Some how or another (probably out of stupidity), Billy ended up going through the ceiling. And when I say Billy, I mean Billy's legs. There they were dangling out of the kitchen ceiling. Well also drunk and stupid were Billy's friends who thought this was an intruder or burgler of sorts. They start punching the crap out of Billy's legs and trying to pull him all the way out of the ceiling. They finally get him down and realize it was Billy. It was indeed an interesting sight to see, particularly when Billy got up first thing and grabbed another beer.
I have some friends who are kind of eccentric and are known for throwing bizarre theme parties. I think once they had a big sleepover just to watch old episodes of "Rescue 911" on VHS. One time I was at one of their parties, and for once there wasn't any particular theme or event for the evening. Then this one woman shows up wearing gray mechanic-style one-piece coveralls with a big zipper up the front. And the people whose party it was just said, "Oh, we're sorry, did we forget to tell you this isn't a jumpsuit party anymore?" I'm half convinced they "forgot" to tell her on purpose, just to screw with her.
I wish I had just one story that would classify as a "strange occurance" but unfortunately that is not the case when it comes to the bar scene...however, one strange memory came to mind when I was reading all of your posts. It goes waaaay back and to make a long story short here she goes...I was a freshman living in the dorms and some of my roommates and I decided to ride the bus to Bayshore mall...well on the bus ride back there was the crazy man who was all fubared up on god knows what and he starts taking off his pants. Well, my roommate from hicksville, usa starts freaking out and crying and telling the guys hes gross which only makes the man want to come over and assault us more...anyways, the bus driver pulls over, crazy falls over and to make a long story short my roommate is still scarred and is terrified of riding the milwaukee county busses...
I've had many strange occurances at bars, but one that has stuck and has now made itself an inside joke between me and one of my friends stands out. We were at Vittuci's, probably for ladies night on a Wednesday, and we were in the bathroom. I was in a stall and my friend was waiting in line. Two girls were in the stall next to me and they were talking about how one girl might need a place to stay for a while. The other girl said that she could stay in their dining room. The other girl was so happy, she could hardly believe it. "Are you serious?" she asked. "Of course, you're my BFF!" the other girl said. I'm listening to this and trying not to laugh out loud at them because who the heck says BFF??? I mean, actually says it?!? I get out and my friend has this smirk on her face, so I knew she heard the whole conversation, too. Ever since then, we call each other BFF. Maybe other people do actually say that, but I had never heard it before!
My most recent "strange bar occurance" happened at Cans this year on Thanksgiving. My god sister and I decided to have a drink after having spent the entire day in Chicago with family. Anyway, soon enough this guy comes over to us and seriously begins telling us his life story. He keeps repeating "I'm good people, I'm from Detroit, I don't have any friends" Then asks my god sister where she's from...she made something up, he looked off into space for a while and then the entire scenario repeated itself...word for word! This happened probably 3 or 4 times..."I'm good people, I'm from Detroit, I don't have any friends" Somehow by the end of the night he ended up in a fight with the bouncer and got kicked out...so strnage...
The strangest bar experience that I have ever had was probably this past year over Christmas break. My friend came to see me in Marinette and we went to the local bowling alley. We ended up playing darts in the bar area. This really annoying guy kept coming up to us and asking us if we wanted him to buy us a shot. I kept telling him no and that we were just hanging out. My friend is not 21 yet and his dad is an alcoholic, so he just doesn't drink. My friend is pretty polite and just kept brushing him off, but I just wanted this guy to stop and leave us alone. Finally this guy kept annoying other people in the bar and a fight broke out. They ended up throwing him out. I felt kind of bad because it seemed like this guy was just desperate for a friend, but hey no means no.
The craziest thing I saw at a bar was this one time when me and some friends went to hang out in the back area of a bar. Later that night some people came back there and starting snorting lines of cocaine and smoking marijuana. I've never seen people do that kind of stuff in such a public place. They offered some drugs to us but I don't snort coke, I only drink it.
The only most recent crazy thing that I can think of happened at a party that occurred last fall at my boyfriend’s house. He decided to have various friends over for the night and over the course of five hours, I’d say 20-25 people had been in and out of the house, but at one time, there would only be about 8 or so people at one time. So as the night rolls on, a friend of my boyfriend and his friend join the party and seemed like they had been drinking since 9 o’clock in the morning, needless to say, they were blackout drunk. More time goes by and I’m talking to my friend Jessie when all of a sudden we both look at the friend of a friend and he starts pouring his drink down the front of his pants, straight faced, like it’s no big deal. Jessie and I both stare at each other and burst our laughing and realize no one else had seen this occurrence. Later as the night started to wind down and there were only 5 people there, listening to music, sitting around the kitchen table talking, we hear a knock on the door. My boyfriend checks it out and comes back to inform all of our guests that they have to leave because of a noise complaint. At the tamest part of the night we had the cops called on us, and it wasn’t even 1 AM, and it was a Saturday night! The rest of my night at my boyfriend’s house, we were afraid to talk to each other over a whisper because we didn’t want the cops called again.
I dont know if mine really consists of a bar story, or party story, becuase it was more of an "after bar story". But anyways, we were all done on Water Street this summer, celebrating during RiverSplash. We all had an awesome time, had a couple of fishbowls from Have a Nice Day, danced with some 50 year old moms...grea times. Well, after a crazy cab driver (you ALL know some of those crazy cabbies around this city!), and he was blastin the music real loud, and we were dancing the whole way home in the cab. Well, it was 5 of us girls, and we all went back to my best friends house to crash for the night. We get home, and everyone fell asleep, either in a bedroom, the spare room, and I chose he futon in the living room. Well I had to get up real early the next morning to go to work, so I just grabbed my stuff and left. I saw someone on the other futon, but I just figured it was one of the other girls. I couldnt see real well becuase it was early and I think those fishbowls came back to haunt me. Anyways, I get a call later from my friend Kari, and she asks me if I saw anything strange in the morning. I said no.... So she asked if I noticed the window screen---which was right above where I was sleeping---was popped oven and torn. I said no..... So it turns out this strange girl broke into the window, and curled up with some blankets and passed out on the other futon in the living room. She was just some random girl and she broke in to sleep! She wasnt homeless or anything either, a college girl, we guess, but how did I not wake up!?! She wasnt there when we all went to bed!! Anyways, the girls kind of poked her in the morning, and she just looked at them all confused, and looked around, grabbed her crap and ran out the door!! Just weird....
There were these two gangster wannabee guys that no one knew at this house party I was at one time at a house my buddy had on 59th and North, and for some reason they kept trying to arm wrestle everyone in the house for money. So me and a couple buddies decided we were going to fill an entire cooler full of ice and water and then let the guy beat one of us on purpose and dump the entire cooler on him like they do when you win the super bowl. So the guy wins and we dump the water on him and yell "your the champion". You would think such a joyous occasion would call for such a celebration, but he had other plans, the "champ" and his buddy started throwing punches everywhere. Needless to say, they got about 3 off before being subdued and ejected. needless to say, he had to go home in the freezing cold with ice water soaked clothes.
Strange bar occurrances? Man, where do I begin? I guess a good short little story would be about a year ago, I was 20. All my friends were 21 and wanted to go to Judge's (stop laughing). Well, I said to myself screw it, I'm going to try my real ID and try to get in. Sure enough, it worked. What a joke, eh?
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